Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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