last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I am naked and annoyed.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
