Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
