I showed him my bush... on skype.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I did not marry a roomba.
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