Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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