; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
