Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
