i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
