is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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