I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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