I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
