Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
