Nicole vs. Life
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
