Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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