It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
