taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
i need some magic done to my vagina
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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