Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
