So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
