They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Randomize
