you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
we're making bets on your personal life
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
