I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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