We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
