"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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