I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
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I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
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You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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