You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
