We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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