isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
