never play flip cup with pint glasses
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I think your dad took our porno
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I smell like Dick and happiness
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
