new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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