It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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