Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
