We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
