i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Text me some of your sweat
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
