As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Randomize
