Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
