just come out here and I will go home with you...
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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