No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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