just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
