he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
