yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
BRING THE BAGELS
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
