Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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