Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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