He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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