it wasn't lemon gatorade
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
