Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
