my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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