Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
