How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
