She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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