I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize