Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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