The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I CAN MOONWALK!
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
