MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
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