I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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