I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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