But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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