If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I need help removing her.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
only you would photoshop your dick
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
