no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
