bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize