the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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