i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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