did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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