Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Randomize
