i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
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