Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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