I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
