i just had sex bonerless
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
